What do you want to be? That dreaded question you get asked in high school. Then you might go onto study something or you might pursue a passion or maybe you have no idea what career you want to do and decide travel.
As a 22 year old I don’t see myself as ‘finding myself’. I think I know who I am and I’m happy with who I am. Some may think that I’m a English teacher because I don’t know what I want to do with my life and I’m figuring things out in a gap year. I’m not on a gap year by any stretch. In 2011 my love and I moved to Thailand because it felt right and salaries were better. It was spontaneous and a decision I will never regret. I enjoy teaching and while it may not be the job I want to do for the rest of my life, I still really enjoy it. When I get asked to think seriously about the future I get a little stumped. I don’t know. Who does know what they want to do for ever? Life never goes the way we want it to and I’m the type of person who gets bored quickly and needs a challenge. The idea of being in a stagnant job seems like an ocean of pollution to wade through.
There are many things I want to do and be in life; travel the world, grow my own food, be a mom, try different arts. Those things are important to me. I take photos because I love to and I love the creative freedom that photography gives but I don’t ever want to tell myself I have to be a certain someone or something for the sake of money. Nothing in life is free and money controls us even when we don’t want it to – that’s reality. But when something like money controls us then why on earth would we want to make other things like careers control us and own us. I want to be free and happy. So when someone ask me about the future, I want to tell them that I just want to be happy, like I am now.
Life now is bright and full of possibilities. Some people need concrete directions, I don’t. Risks, challenges and the unknown is appealing to me. Yes, I do get fearful at times but then I remember fear is what prevents us from living our dreams.
Be honest with yourself about what you want and if you don’t know, the relax, not many people do know and there is nothing wrong with not knowing. Just remember to be happy and do the things that make you feel alive. You don’t have to justify anything about your life to anyone else, you are in control. Own yourself.